Howie Day - Collide
Rudolf Bonvie - Dialog (1973)
After the fatal car crash, and the electric blowout between Genevieve and Eric, months passed and they learned what it truly means to be in love with someone on the other side, when you can’t touch the one you love the most because of a silly little thing of being dead and gone.
A quarter of a century now. It feels like eternity.
JOYEUX ANNIVERSAIRE EM!
I was hoping to surprise you, but you snuck up on me. See I’ve got it all planned out, I stayed up all night baking your favorite type of cake, decorated Cali with ribbons and cat decorations, and I’ve got the car from Emmerich today, so you name it, whatever in the world is your dream today and I’ll make it happen; blessings of it being the holiest of all holy days.
Like poison, poison drowned in wrath, sweet angst and slow toughness. He couldn’t help but swallow the silence, not because it hurt, but because it didn’t. As a matter of fact, it was mere a suffocating burn, nothing but breathtaking numbness. “I know. I know you’re not her”, he shook his head in denial, falling slowly into despair. “She was human”, his hoarse voice took up the entire room, as if he was almost running out of strength. “She was human and that’s what I- I loved about her the most”. A pause and then a breath; just words hanging in the air before he’d close his eyelids for a moment, to feel the walls caving in and caving in. Defiantly, he stood still after opening his eyes once again.
There was one more thing, just more words to be spoken and spit from his mouth. Like poison. He could’ve gone off the deep end, and he could’ve been more careful. But his feet steadily hit the ground, as Eric approached her — whoever she was. His eyes were fixed on some kind of devilish black orbs and the fake smirk, ever so ready to get out the loathsome devil inside of her. A fight he’d probably never win. But the words that came out, were worse than planned. Soon Eric caught himself on the act of harsh remarks, carelessly sinking in again.
“I loved her. Not you. Whoever you are, you’re not her. You’re just a lifeless demon trapped inside her head, sucking all of her life. You’re breathing in and out whatever’s inside. You’re consuming her. But you’re not her.“
The boy in the green jacket didn’t know what else to say, for the urge to break the inviting silence wasn’t as strong as before. So he just allowed the words to fall down and break in and sink into each other’s skin, before it was too late to break his heart again.
Pure anger rolled inside her bones as the desperation sunk further into her skin, standing in front of her were a mixture of words spoken strongly in spite; a bold statement of love and how she was sewn up to be everything but. Disgust dig its claws into her ribcage as she silently scoffed at the thought of how in this moment when she needed help the most, it was declared that she wouldn’t get any; he had reached the end of his rope and the words twisted inside, unable to ask for it if she knew how too.
A steady figure made its path over to her, meeting her head on and the bold tension that spoke between them as the power struggle warred on between the once lovers. White orbs framed in black lashes traveled its way up his frame to meet the frighting angry expression that she had never faced aimed at her before, it was shocking to see the coldness radiating from him, and the loss of his unbreakable love made a chill climb its way up her spine, and dip her heart in frozen ice.
Jaw clenched tight in refusal, as she faltered in her once reassurance, eyes fighting down the liquid that rose to coat her lighting color irises, breathing dying in shaking tones as her tongue pressed tight onto her teeth, distracting pain and bringing sharp focus. Tiny shakes from her head in disbelief as her feet backpedaled a few steps in needed space. “No.. no, that’s not..” Lids pressing closed in honest silence as the vulnerable human side was trying to claw its way out, the next words breathed out of her redtinged mouth in hushed mumbles. “You can’t.. it doesn’t make sense.. How could you? How could you love me.. after everything.” Her lungs fell into collapsion as her eyelids fluttered open and met his own with hazel set orbs. “I made you miserable everyday Eric”
The loss of her stability was bleeding from her, just as she had lost everything when her body was stolen away into the hands of sex trade, and the mysteries and self-hatred came tumbling afterwards. She hated appearing weak and vulnerable because it opened the doors for demons and violators to come sweeping in, and the anger she felt at not being able to save herself and fight off abusers came roaring up her spine, cracking her neck back violently as the electrical fire melded painfully into her bloodstreams again. Shining light through her cracks as she rose a few feet off the ground and lighting melded back into her essence.
Stepping softly onto the floor once she retreated back into her safe protection of dangerous elements, the lighting static danced alongside her fingertips and wove its way up her arms, and the emotions rattled loudly through her body, shattering every last seam holding the broken remains together. “You can’t suck life out of the dead.. but if you refuse to wake up and face the fact that I’m still fucking here, and not some kind of sick hallucination or possessing demon, then so be it” The emotions triggered her, and it was uncontrollable and entirely haywire as the crisps of photographs of the two of them, got lit with fire and flames licked higher and smothered them into ashes.
"I’m her and I’m getting really fucking tired of being so" The white orbs were her saving grace as they contained in the mist that was threatening her with drowning sickness, her voice was dipped in melancholy sharpness and the emotions was pulling her seams. Betrayal washed over her, as she breathed out the words like weapons, the bitterness and self-hate contained inside was the reason why she robbed her own life, strung her body up in suicide because she was tired of waking up as the abandoned girl.
She despised herself on a daily basis, and the only reason why she stayed alive for so long was because of the souls in her life, but when they went away so did she. Desperate measures are taken when you decide to kill yourself, and the disgust she felt for that human girl still lived in the spirit that walked this earth. Genevieve met demons on a daily basis, and in the end they won. She had given up, gotten lost, and wanted to end it all.
She wasn’t meant to here, she just wanted this miserable life to be over. It was meant to be over, but then she awoke in the shattered remains of a deadly car crash. She hadn’t escaped the hell she was living in as planned, and the lacing anger she felt towards the writer; when it wasn’t his fault, was her shield that she held towards inhaling the truth that this was inescapable and she was still existing but in degrees more damaging then ever before, for the fear that she was permanently stuck on this earth as a ghost that was visible to no one clawed into her bones.
Biting anger overtaking her voice as she spoke again, disbelief and frustration living in her words. “Mon Dieu, you can’t recognize me because you don’t know me”
"You built up this perfect idea of a damsel in distress needing your saving, or a flawless angel that was so sweet and self-sacrificing that she was tainted by the big ol’ world around her. That you missed the part where I was a human girl that could never live up to your exceptions, or give you any part of which you wanted from me. I was always selfish, and cruel and contained more darkness then you could even imagine.”